Metamorphosis of Identity: Embracing Control and Imperfections

Please give a brief overview of your final graduate project

My final graduate project is a personal publication entitled 'The Shape Control.' In this book, I wanted to explore my need for control and the search for perfection through the use of clean geometric shapes. It was a response to my sense of inadequacy growing up, caused by my excess skin following significant weight loss and a fluid gender that did not conform to the expectations of the context in which I grew up.

Through self-written texts and self-portraits, I aimed to create a space in which I could represent myself and 'be' freely, using the same control that drove me to seek perfection outside of myself to overcome my insecurities and reconsider the idea I have of my 'imperfect' being. The book intends to use shape to challenge and move away from social preconceptions that establish predetermined forms regarding aesthetic canons and gender-related expectations. If I had to summarise my project, I would define it as a personal publication on the journey of recognising the corporeal body and my need for control to reconsider our existence through shape.

The title of your publication, "The Shape Control," suggests a connection between control and geometric shapes. Could you elaborate on how these concepts are intertwined in your project?

The title "The Shape Control" alludes to a profound link between control and geometric forms. For me, geometry echoes my pursuit of perfection, originating from a discomfort with my fluid essence—pertaining not only to gender but also to the contours shaped by excess skin. This unease gradually translated into a deliberate focus on channelling simple, regular shapes. These elements are present within my artistic expressions and wardrobe choices, contributing to the transformation of my body's contours. This project seeks to acknowledge my compelling need for control while honouring my inherent forms and fluidity. Through this celebration, I navigate the intricate interplay of control, form, and rethink my idea of perfection

Prior to embarking on this project, how did your journey of control and perfection manifest in both external actions and internal thoughts? How did your project help you develop a deeper understanding of your own physicality and identity?

Fashion played a dual role in my journey, serving as a powerful tool for external expression. On one hand, it assisted me in defining my identity, while on the other, it provided a means to reshape, conceal, and contain my body's silhouette.

Driven by my OCD tendencies, I developed a stringent self-evaluation, constantly seeking ways to enhance my appearance. This project emerged with the purpose of fostering awareness and embracing my body's true form, rather than an idealised version. By aligning my imperfections with aesthetically pleasing geometries, I aimed to reconcile my perception of perfection—geometry—with my physical reality, unearthing profound insights into my identity and physicality.

This journey was fundamental in making me feel better about myself, providing an aesthetic representation to something often underrepresented. It allowed me to instil an aesthetic dimension to my skin, legitimising its existence and endowing it with beauty.

Can you provide specific examples of how certain geometric shapes or design choices within your publication were used to challenge conventional notions of aesthetics and gender? 

Within the publication, enigmatic shadows emerge, their shapes distinct yet their subjects evading definitive determination. These individuals, while elusive, exist undeniably. The human body undergoes a metamorphosis, draped, modified, and adorned by geometry, with the intention of discussing the subjects' uniqueness in terms of fashion and form, rather than confining them within categorical norms. Form transforms into volume, individuality cloaked yet simultaneously asserting a realm of self-determination. These enigmatic figures transcend gender, their identities self-defined through the simple act of existence.

In 'The Shape Control,' the infusion of geometry into clothing and poses orchestrates a metamorphosis in our perception of the human form, provocatively challenging our ingrained notions of physical appearance. This transformative process births fresh identities that transcend the conventional confines of masculinity and femininity.

The black and white imagery directs attention exclusively towards shape, prompting a re-evaluation of visual depictions of the body and dismantling any gender-linked associations.

Can you talk about the role of the audience / readers in engaging with your project? What kind of impact or response do you hope to evoke in those who interact with your graduate project?

As it reaches its audience, the project serves a dual purpose. It seeks to represent a skin type often absent from artistic depictions, while also offering my personal visual interpretation of bodies and individuals that go beyond the limitations of gender.

The intention is to redefine the notion of form, not only in terms of what is conventionally deemed correct, such as my skin, rarely depicted. It’s about reconsidering form more broadly, particularly how we define an individual, especially their gender, solely based on what we see: their shape. This process of controlling form aims to challenge our one-dimensional way of perceiving the world, making room for equally valid or already existing alternative possibilities.

‘I took the matter from the form,

the power from the act, and what I have left

is a surviving that mourns the first

steps.

Soul constrained by the shape.

Like'Him" I have embodied myself.

Cosmic - I am principle.

Primordial - I return multitudes.

My body: just a shape.’

This echoes my journey of embodying identity beyond mere physicality, inviting readers to reflect on their own perceptions about the body and embrace diversity.

Reflecting on your journey throughout this project, how would you describe the transformation or growth you've experienced as an individual, both artistically and personally?

Reflecting on my journey, this project has fostered remarkable growth. Professionally, crafting a book in three months pushed me creatively. Personally, it granted profound self-acceptance. The true beauty and strength emerged from vulnerability and owning my discomfort, granting me power. This newfound resilience accompanies me daily. It's an ongoing path, but hey, I've always known I'm a lot – it's like my excess skin is just an overflow of persona! ;)

And even if I realise there's more work to fully embrace myself, yet I've learned that perfection and beauty stem from self-acceptance. No standards define that – it's about embracing and owning who you are.

What advice would you give to others who may be struggling with similar feelings of dissatisfaction or the need for control in their lives? How can creative expression, like what you've done with your publication, be a means of healing and self-discovery?

This book made me understand how societal standards amplify feelings of inadequacy or my need for control. These pressures intensify when we distance ourselves from our true selves, giving in to imposed norms and letting them dictate how we should be. True control isn't about conforming but rather about being present with ourselves and our experiences. By immersing ourselves in our emotions, we can uncover the roots of discontent and non-acceptance.

The contrast between this sense of alienation and the power of being present to oneself is striking. Neglecting our true essence means neglecting the narratives within us. Authentic beauty emerges when we are fully present and attuned to our individuality.

This project allowed me to take stock of the strides I've made on both creative and personal fronts. It's a reminder of the stories that reside within my skin and creativity, marking the distance I've covered. Creative expression, like my publication, emerges as a healing avenue. It offers a safe haven to address vulnerabilities, embrace imperfections, and honour the journey of personal growth. This process empowers us to reclaim our narratives from societal pressures, fostering self-discovery and authenticity.

• Learn more about BA (Hons) Fashion Photography
• What’s on at LCF: open days and events